A line in the Permafrost

Now, I just know that I can't be the first one to think this up, but as far as Hans Island, our favorite frozen tundra, weathered wasteland and freaky Faulkland is concerned, there's just too much natural goodness and public benefit not to fight over it, right!

Right?

That's at least what Canada and Denmark think, of course. But let's think about it ... what big difference would it make if we took some all-purpose chalk, started at, oh, one end, and (gasp!) drew a line to .... how 'bout the OTHER end? Then ... wait for it ... the side with the Canadian flag and whiskey on it would be Canada's, and the other side would be Denmark's?

oh, Oh, OH ... and what if ... WHAT IF ... we painted the lines with that super cool reflective permanent yellow paint that we use on our highways? Then, EVERYONE WOULD KNOW which side of the ROCK they were visiting.

You could put a desk at the centerpoint of the line. That would be customs.

It's genius.

I guess, then, it'll never happen.

Le Oops...

Is it just me, or does this little item appear suspiciously similar to our ROCK?

The Swiss are coming! With what army?

You can't sink MY Battleships!

Diplomacy is overrated.

That's the message that the Canadian military is sending to Denmark as regards Hans Island. And why shouldn't they? They have more landmass. Neener neener...

It wasn't a week or so ago that the Danish ambassador said they would leave the ownership of Hans to civilized political processes. So, naturally, today Canada has responded with a military show of power. They're sending enough battleships toward Hans that they might cover the same amount of landmass as the island itself.

And according to my source, the Russians and Norway might get into this brew-ha-ha, assuming it lasts a lot of years and global warming accelerates.

Will the sanity never end??

Rather amazingly to this writer, there is an actual Wikipedia entry on Hans Island... and it's actually got a lot of information in it!

I'm now aware that there is Radio Free Hans Island, and the Hans Island Liberation Front apparently has formed to free the 2 known inhabitants, Hans and Hans.

Check it out!

Chinese get a piece of the ROCK (story)

The Chinese are right on top of this Hans Island international "relations" tryst... (all puns intended)

Xinhua reports (and I mention this completely without permission) that Denmark, Greenland and Canada have announced that they will work together to solve the ownership issue over the most famous ROCK of the 21st (and subsequent) ... week of the year. Well isn't that just downright civil of all of them!

Of course, it probably just me, but it seems a little hypocritical since they sent the "Tuluigaq" Danish patrol ship to the island last week to, proverbially, pee on the island and raise the Danish flag. Oh, but they're being civil about it... they're going to LEAVE the Canadian flag where it stands.

Gag me with a reindeer...

Uusaqaaq Qujaukits: Keep your mittens off our Hans!

Hans island - you know, that ROCK at the center of an international conflagration that's headed deperately toward being a modern-day Grenada - is now being noticed by a Greenland-ish (Danish? Muffin?) native community, and they need to have their say!

In Qaanaaq (that's an "area", or community) in Northwestern Greenland, Uusaqaaq Qujaukits (say that 5 - not only 3 - times real fast!) says that ... wait, sorry, can we just have a little giggle here over his name?! Send me your particular pronounciations of this name!

Ok ... bubba Uusaqaaq points out that, you know, them thar Kanadians din't e'er leet 'em hunt no Pol' Barrs neer Ellesmere Isle, an' now them warnt Hans two?! It's outrageous ... but, if you read closely he also points out that, well, they never really EVEN GO TO HANS ISLAND since it's too damn hard to get to! But don't repress us nonetheless!!

Le sheesh.

Denmark: Don't hit me!

Hans Island is REALLY starting to get the world attention that it deserves! I know, just as well as you do, that Denmark and Canada are "titans of impulsive aggression" (see, even the Brits know this). We can't leave these two alone in the same room with a single set of Legos. They're such world-wide bullies.

So it's with great surprise that I read today about the Danish ambassador to Canada's demurring on the subject, and suggesting we leave this to a matter of "law". What's up with that? I wanted to see a fleet of Viking ships headed for Nova Scotia! Hagar lives!! They didn't back down on Greenland - how can they possibly back down now?!

I'm so dissillusioned.